How can you feel uncomfortable when you are radiating with confidence?
Ladies, Learn To Boost Your Own Confidence
For some reason, many women need assurance from people to keep motivated and on target. Most of us are terrible at making decisions and often rely on loved ones to tell us or show us the answers. "Do these jeans make me look fat?" "Does my hair look ok?" "Can you tell I have been working out?"
And most guys, if they're smart, can spit out the answer in a matter of seconds. "Of course not!" "I have never seen your hair look better." And of course, "Your body has always looked amazing."
And even when we are not looking to the guys for assurance, we find other methods. Just think of the witch in Snow White, always relying on that stupid mirror.
We may not have a mirror, but we do have our ways: the numbers on the scale going down, comparing ourselves to other women (yes, we all do it), and having the belief that if we eat the chocolate bar when no one can see us then it doesn't count.
Well, these petty acts of assurance are over. It is time now to put on a strong face, and find the confidence within. There is nothing sexier than a strong and confident woman.
There is just one person you have to battle with to become that strong, confident woman: and that person is YOU! Learn to fight the inner negativity and self doubt and you will be on top of the world when it comes to fitness achievements, work, and everything else far and in between.
1. Turn the negative voice off.
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That's what separates the winners from the rest of the population. We have been taught to think negatively and therefore only the few that learned to change their ways of thinking to be positive ever come out on top. Just something to think about: one of the first words babies learn is "no" and why are traffic lights referred to as STOP lights instead of GO lights?
So how do you overcome this negative thought process?
For starters, I want you to count how many negative thoughts you have in a day. When you are conscious about it, the numbers will blow your mind. Once you have the number, work to have positive thoughts.
I hate the word "can't" and I work really hard to keep it out of my own vocabulary. Because in reality you can at least try! If you are about to say something mean about someone else, stop there and come up with a positive thought instead. That goes for thoughts about yourself too. This is a really hard process, but with time you will retrain your mind to be positive. Once your thinking changes, your persona will change for the better too!
2. Learn to love your body.
Even if you are determined to lose weight or getting in much better shape appreciate the body you wake up with each morning. No more thoughts on how big your butt is, or the stretch marks on your thighs. You are working to fix those problems.
Instead, highlight your features. Each morning I want you to stand in front of a mirror naked (YES, NAKED) and come up with 5 positives things.
For example, I might say, I like my shoulders because I think they are strong yet still feminine. I like my calves because they make me feel dainty and sexy. I like my eyes because you can tell every emotion. When I am sad, mad, excited, etc. And so on.
Once you get going, get even bolder. If you live in a place where you can safely walk around your home naked, then in the words of NIKE "just do it."
If that is a bit too bold try buying some sexy pajamas or just walking around with underwear on. This will help you feel more confident and your significant someone will not be able to keep his hands off!
3. Answer your own questions.
To be confident, you have to feel secure with the decisions you make. That means figuring out all by yourself if those jeans make you look fat, or if your hair looks good.
For the next week, do not ask for assurance. If you think something could look better than what you have on, choose it. Making your own decisions will make you feel proud and you will naturally stand a bit taller.
There is no room for self-doubt here. For example, if you cannot decide if an outfit looks ok, chances are you do not have 2 hours to decide. Remember the tip for test taking: your first choice is normally the best choice. It holds true here too.
4. Do something alone.
For some reason women are afraid to eat alone or do anything alone for that matter. If you are able to beat this fear then you are one bold and confident chick. Every once in a while I will eat my lunch alone just for the quiet time. I recommend it for everyone. Pick a restaurant and go.
People are not going to judge you or wonder if you were stood up. So stop worrying. It's ok. The only person judging is you and if you follow the tips above you will have only positive thoughts on your brain.
The biggest alone event I did was on a trip to Austin, TX. Dan was in a conference so I had to see Austin by myself.
I ended up walking 3 miles (mid summer) to the Austin springs. I rented a kayak, and rowed around the lake. Sure, I would have loved for him to be with me because I know he would have loved it, but I was proud of myself for the adventure I went on.
On the same trip, I had to eat breakfast alone too. I got over my fear very quickly and actually had a great time checking out the museums, the college, the shopping and yes the Whole Foods (Austin is the home of Whole Foods).
5. Stand tall and don't be afraid to look others in the eyes.
There is nothing that says "I lack confidence" more than body language. I once heard that body language makes up for 93% of effective communication. To have you and others seeing your confidence shine through, show it off.
Stand tall, always look people in the eyes and show assertiveness. Looking down at your feet or at the room around you, having your arms crossed, or fidgeting with your fingers are signs of weakness and being uncomfortable.
One last tip for nonverbal confidence is to have a nice handshake. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean you shouldn't have a firm handshake. When I am introduced to someone new I am often the first to extend my hand. It's not only polite but it is a blinking light for a girl with real confidence and pride.
When you have confidence in yourself you will make improvements in the weight room. Don't hold back, be the woman you were born to be. You will set an example for those around you.
On a scale from 1-10 how confident are you today?
Ready to move onward? Now that you are ready to lift with all your might, you need to read the next lesson to ensure you don't make any commonfitness/diet mistakes along the way with the Weight lifting dos and don'ts.
Get more information about exercises to lose weight and make sure you check out our fitness courses podcast where we talk about current fitness events and give you help to get great results.